How many times have we found ourselves-amidst a situation, where we feel “what we seek is just farther away from us?” Or the other question can be that “How many of us have felt it or have been at this juncture?” The answer to this is WE ALL!!, we all have been at this juncture irrespective of who we are and what our story is. The desperate times when we wished, secretly prayed, and begged for that one thing to work out, but it turned out totally upside down… no matter how hard we tried to fix it!
The more we want the more we lose it!!
When we see things or relations, in which we put our complete heart and soul, getting destroyed or lost right in front of us, its devastating. We go into the mode of questioning our identity and finding out within ourself that what is it that is not working out ? Is it me?Am I this? Am I destined?. This feeling hurts and adds to our misery and suffering, far more than it was meant to. It’s like cutting a wound deeper to see how much more it’s going to hurt. Ofcourse its going to hurt, but why allow ourselves to be hurt more.
On contrary, we also come around situations in life , when we receive what we always wished for without even having expected it. We receive joy, pleasures and happiness. These come in forms of a wishful gift, a friend, a relationship, a job opportunity , a promotion or a solution to the problem of our life.Quiet often, we forget these moments of receiving but what we lose, what hurts sticks to us. It keeps pinching, reminding and destroying us bit by bit. We feel pain, we feel loneliness, we feel depressed and we suffer. We cling to losses, way longer than we should.
But hold on….think back…..
So we come across two situations in life
- What we really want to seek and desire…….runs awayfrom us
- What we make peace…it shows up and Seeks us
Recently , I have been myself in a troll of events that have killed me, made me question my own identity, my honesty , commitment and hard work. Both at personal and professional fronts. Btw to make it clear , it’s not the first time this has happened to me. I have been in this situation before. Moments, where I imagined, “it cannot go worse than this “and right then, it has . This has taught me that at any given time, we can be a lot more miserable than now.
May be that’s why it is important to practices gratitude, as it reminds us of the highs of life and how we are better off. Not that it makes our pain any less but it helps us recognize that we do have things to look up to, to cherish and treasure. But this write-up is not about gratitude.
In a moment last week when I felt completely lost, shattered and my world was falling apart. I felt slammed from all fronts . I was weak, I felt destroyed. Normally I would have cried a lot more than I did that day. I would have stayed lost and completely in a trauma for weeks, before knowing what to do, how to take control and get myself back in one piece. Right then a thought that struck me in my weak silent moment.
The thought was “the things that, I run after, care about the most are the ones that get away from me.” And those are the exact things or situation that hurt the most. When I work towards something with the fear of losing it I lose it. Then, I get in a state of sorrow , grief and anxiety. I question myself and my capabilities How about I stop running after things, fearing that it would not happen? I would lose it? I do what’s best I can do, without fear and anxiety and then let go. Let the course of event, time and life decide what happens. As anyways it would happen as it is meant to be.
This decision or thought was empowering and healing. It made my pain lesser and my heart feel freer. I do not know how difficult this might be but I need to practice not to fear losing and running after things that I want. No matter, howsoever significant it is to me. To let go and let it come back on its own should be my mantra. Its easier said than done I already felt its influence.
This thought, suddenly changed my attitude towards the problem. I was sad but not miserable. I was tensed but not depressed. This helped me move from a mode of pity, mourning and grieving far more faster than usual towards a solution. May be is the most important thing to do , when it is not working the way we want it to work we need to find another way. We cannot stop ourselves in getting in these situations, they are inevitable but what we can do is to change our outlook “Take Control” and move towards the solution. A step further and forward. This reduces the longevity and severity of our pain and suffering.
For me the learning from this single thought was profound. It was to stop running in mad race of trying to seek things, fearing of losing and finally feeling miserable for not having received what I dearly wanted . To rather aaccepting what I have, work with it and receive the ultimate gifts of life that it comes to surprise me. Time is always said to be a healer but it is also a giver and I will get my due.
Its only when we stop running after things that things run towards us.
When we seek them no more…
When it’s not able to hurt us no more…
Destroy us no more….
It comes back to seek us…..
To please and comfort us
To serve us….
Refuse to be a Victim and be Master!!
Do let me know about your thoughts about this in the comments below.