Active listening: I promise to hear not just from my ears but from my eyes, my heart and an open mind. I am not after the words you are saying but I am after the “why” of what you are saying. This is for my colleague, my friends, my partner, and all the people whom I influence in some way. Here is what active listening means, it means I will not fill up your sentences. I will not wait to reply or to share my own experience about the topic. It means I will listen, hear you out and make sure to confirm with you what I have understood and sought clarification. I will ask more questions about how you feel. And I will ask furthermore to reach the depth of the matter that concerns you. I will make an honest attempt to actually understand and will settle for nothing less. I will give you the space to say your complete part of the story, express yourself without the fear of being judged for what you feel or believe or do. That’s when I will truly connect with you. I want to know you as the person you are not the label you hold of your gender or the role you play in life.
I will meet you in this arena of complete attention, kindness, understanding and empathy.
But a gentle reminder you have to walk in the same arena with me as well. My listening and understanding are not a given to be taken for granted.
It is a privilege, it’s valued and I expect no less from you as well. We will hold each other and balance it. But if you let go of this arena I can as well.
So all of you out there make sure you are being listened to properly. More power to your voice and seek being heard and being understood that your responsibility. But also listen to what others have to say to you with deep empathy without judgement. It is difficult but we can do it.
Do not be on others mercy to listen to you when and what they please to.
Lastly, teach your kid to do the same to raise them as a strong and kind person. They learn from what you do the most.
Practice practice practice.
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October 13, 2022